Thinking out loud...

So due to wonderful technology, I have lately been able to reconnect with people from all varying stages of my past. People and friends that had played important roles in my life at different times. And the more people that I get in contact with, and the more I hear of their lives, the more I realize that life is different now that it was in high school. My youth group was fairly large, but fairly close. Now, 12 years post graduation, we are a group that consists of: orphans, widows, cancer survivors, cancer fighters, single parents, childless parents. Some of us have had our dreams come true while others of us have lived through horribly terrifying nightmares. Some of us have the jobs we always had planned on while others of us struggle to buy groceries. We share our past in common, but just like the past, we are still as different from one another now as we were then, and our struggles have been just as different, but struggling is still common ground. We have been broken and hurt by the effects of an imperfect world, but for those of us who have clung to our faith- we are better for it. For those who have not- my heart just breaks!

This group of people that I shared Sunday nights with, weekend rallies, mission trips and summer camps with, is the group I grew up with. Together we went from freshmen to legal "adults". But it's been the circumstances after high school that have caused us to truly grow up. There are days that I long for the innocent and carefree days of high school. Sunday afternoons at the lake on the first sunny day of spring, pick-up softball games, wandering the mall, ferry rides in downtown Seattle, phonecalls full of laughter and boytalk. We had plans for our future, but for the most part, we had no clue of what the future would really look like. But God did! Nothing has been a surprise to Him and nothing has taken place out of His control. There is peaceful confidence that comes from knowing I worship a God who is purposeful and loving, a God who always works for my good, which in the end, means a God who is working in my life to keep me running to Him, growing in my love for Him, and a God who loves me beyond my understanding. And so, although my heart hurts for my friends who have experienced hard and trying things in life, my heart hurts even more knowing that some of them are trying to carry their burdens alone, and some still do not know the joy that comes from resting in Him. I pray that they will remember the truths we were taught at all those events- Jesus Christ came and suffered and died, so that we, imperfect sinners, don't have to suffer for eternity.

Life in high school is about sports and essays, boyfriends and first kisses. Life after is hard, but the older I get and the more trials I see my friends encounter- the more I honestly yearn for my home, which is part of His plan- I know.