Survival

Survival- this has been my goal the last few days. Horrible sleep + cranky miserable toddler= just get through the day.

I hate days like this. I hate feeling so tired that it takes all my self-control to not just yell all day or break down in tears. I hate feeling like the day is about making it to bedtime rather than rejoicing in the gift of a new day. But this is where I find myself.

Lincoln has ear infections, which has caused him to wake up a ton, Rylin has an annoying cough that wakes her up even more than usual, which when you put the two of those together, it means I'm getting up 12+ times a night. I am completely and totally sleep deprived. And yet today, I'm finding myself in deep thought (which is kinda scary) and I'm desperately trying to be a mom that is not relying on my own strength- because let's face it- I'm out, and is rather continually looking to my Lord for strength. It's a somewhat harsh reality- but I really do believe that God in His complete sovereignty purposefully puts me into survival mode to get my attention refocused on Him. I so want each and every day about bringing glory to my God and Savior but it seems so easy to get lost and caught up in the day to day chores.

So today I'm thankful. Thankful that God continually breaks my pride down so that I can again find my roots in Him. (I'm also thankful for caffeine and the antibiotics which should start working in the next couple of days for my sweet, snotty little guy!)