Brookings

Last week we joined our church for Family Camp in Brookings Oregon. I will spare you the long post and give you the highlights. Kacia loves the waves! She can run in and from them for hours. She also loves to explore the tide-pools with her dad. Rylin on the other hand is still scared of the waves, but loves to walk along the shoreline with a hand, and enjoys playing in the sand and looking for shells. Lincoln did not consume as much sand this year, which was awesome! He pretty much loved all of it- the waves, the sand, the shells, the sea creatures, and the ability to just run and run! He was so funny when we were first driving there and he woke up from a nap and we were driving along the 101. He looked out and saw the sea and starting clapping and pointing. Then when our view was obstructed with trees, he pointed his finger and told them angrily "no, no!" Then clapped again when he could once again see the Pacific. It made me wonder, what exactly was he excited about? He had no clue yet what fun was awaiting him there, he just loved what he saw!

Silliness

My 1 picture from the 4th of July before the camera battery died :)

The rest of these are from when the fam came to visit in June to meet Reid, and of course, hang out with the rest of us too! My kids love it when company comes, and it somehow brings out a little bit of extra silliness!

(Olive we all miss you!!)

Thanks for making the long drive James, Tim, Sabrina & Olive! We had so much fun being with you and miss you already!

8

Friday marked 8 years since my mom went home to be with the Lord. Eight. Eight years since I have held her hand or stroked her hair. Eight.

There are days when 8 seems so long, and I think "How can it be 8 years already?" But mostly I think, "Only 8? Really? Because it seems like forever!"

Think about how much has changed since she passed away. I went from being a young bride, to a mother of three. Kaitlin & James were the ages then of Michael & Allie now. Michael & Allie were a little bit younger than my oldest daughter is now. Breanna went from being the mom of toddlers, to teenagers. Tim went from being a college student to, oops- still a student! (Just kidding Tim :) I couldn't resist!) He is married, has not only his degree, but his masters and is working on his phd. James went from a small, quiet boy, to a strong, confident, young man. And Kaitlin, my mom's baby, is now taking care of her own baby! Life does anything but stand still!

I found it quite fitting that I was able to be in one of my mom's favorite places over the weekend- the Oregon coast. How she loved the ocean! Each time we go, Kevin knows that I like to escape by myself and go and sit in the sand, reflect & pray. So my opportunity arose when Lincoln fell asleep in the car at a difficult time. I dropped the rest of the family off at our friends' campsite, and I went and parked in front of the sea. I sat in my car, staring at God's incredible portrait of power, might, creativity, beauty and control, and I cried. It has been years since I have cried over the loss of my mom, but staring out there, the tears started to fall. I looked at that beach, and I could pick the exact spot that she would've parked her chair. I could see her sitting there in her visor, burying her feet in the sand and laughing at Lincoln as he ran from the waves to the sand with such determination and enthusiasm. I could see her playing in the waves with Kacia, and looking for shells with Rylin. Sometimes I wish so much that she could know my kids, experience life with them, and even more- that they could know her. But I know that my God is good. I know that He is perfect, I know that He has His reasons for taking her home, and most days that is enough. But looking at the waves, remembering so many vacations and memories I shared there with her, I simply missed her. I know that I will always miss her, but I also know that I can always rest in the fact that she is enjoying eternity in Heaven with her Lord, and someday, because of the blood of Christ, and the grace He has shown to me, so will I. So thankful to God for the mom that He gave me, and so incredibly thankful for the Son that He gave for us!

A Sinner Saved

"Behold the Man upon a cross, My guilt upon His shoulders,

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there, Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished"

-How Deep the Father's Love for Us

I love this song. I love it because it always gets me thinking! Thinking that I know I take the cross of Christ for granted. Thoughts that I am too callous regarding His love for me. I have always believed in the Lord. I cannot remember a single day of my life that I have not been aware of the fact that God created the world. Man is born a sinner. Sinner needs salvation to reconcile oneself to God. Sinner cannot do this on his own. Sinner needs a Savior. Jesus is that Savior. Jesus bore my sin on the cross, died that I might live. I have always believed these truths. But I think one thing that I miss is true passion. Passion of what I have been saved from. Yes, knowing Christ my whole life has "saved" me from various sins. I have never been drunk or high, I respected my parents, I don't cuss, I wore a white dress on my wedding day in every way, I have been faithful to my husband, etc..... I was in many ways a very ideal baptist. The sins we see as "major" in our finite minds- these sins I was saved from committing and have also been saved from the guilt that they carry.

But I think one of the big truths that I have missed lately- is that I wasn't just saved from doing those things- I have been saved and forgiven by the sins I commit daily, hourly, multiple times in a minute. I am a sinner, and I need a Savior. My sin is just as detestable to God's holiness as any other's. The sins of discontentment, fear, pride, worldliness, greed, selfishness, impatience, anger.... The sins that the Savior hung on the cross for, the sins that I need to hate. These sins, I wash over, I disregard, I ignore. I don't hate them enough to realize how big His love is. I don't appreciate the cross the way I need to.

I have been reading a book by CJ Mahaney entitled "Living the Cross Centered Life" and wanted to share something that may encourage you as it did me (that is- if you've made it through this very long post)

"As we watch Jesus pray in agony in Gethsemane, He has every right to turn His tearful eyes toward you and me and shout, "This is your cup. You're responsible for this. It's your sin! You drink it." This cup should rightfully be thrust into my hand and yours. Instead, Jesus freely takes it Himself... so that from the cross He can look down at you and me, whisper our names, and say "I drain this cup for you- for you have lived in defiance of Me, who have hated Me, who have opposed Me. I drink it all... for you." This is what our sin makes necessary. This is what's required by your pride, by your selfishness and my selfishness, by your disobedience and my disobedience. Behold Him... behold His suffering... and recognize His love."

Praying for a deeper hate of my sin, and a greater, more passionate love and appreciation for my Savior!

2 Silly & 2 Cute

Here's a few pictures that capture Lincoln at age 2. He is busy, fun, silly, and loves to play!

This face says it all! "I'm cute and I know it!"

Playing dress-up with the sisters, and constantly taking his diapers off. I later found him trying to put on Rylin's princess underwear :) Sorry, buddy you have to talk more before I'll even think about potty training you!

Posing with his fantastic Hair Stylist!

Lincoln loves Reid! He always wants to hold him, so we offered one of the girls' dolls. He was thrilled to hold it, tried to swaddle it in a blanket, and offered a pacifier- but when the doll would not "keep" it in it's mouth, it ended up in Lincoln's!

My boy is one happy little monkey! We're are so blessed to have him in our family and we are loving age 2, even with the challenges it brings :)

Lincoln Turns 2!

I'm a little behind on posting! June was absolutely crazy with the end of school, Baby Reid, VBS, birthdays, and lots of fun visitors! But here's a few pictures of Lincoln on his birthday. We did a zoo party since he is fascinated with animals. Can't believe my baby is 2!!!!